Look, we have to take cooking lessons from Tony Effe

Tony Effe, the race and the pipes

Just to summarize the social media story, saving you the trouble of watching video after video: Tony Effe made a video boasting about having managed to fit into a pair of women's micro jeans. All smug and proud, he shared his jeans size, while simultaneously taking aim at all of us who are "slaves" to sugar, carbohydrates, and food in general, and who stick to our regular jeans sizes (perhaps men's, how awful).

Then people must have written to him. "Tony, are you crazy? What are you doing? Look, everyone who listens to your music isn't all dragonflies, is he? Some people even wear oversized jeans, and now they're pretty pissed off."

In short, Tony is retracting his statement, because he always tells the truth, and he even tells it in twelve different languages ​​(I swear, the thousand polyglot versions of the video—presumably made with AI—are online, and Chiara Ferragni and her "now in English" can step aside and back away). Tony Effe apologizes, because he didn't mean to offend anyone, just convince someone to go running. Because now—in case you haven't noticed—he's running, and do you know why he's running? Not because he likes it, no, no, no. He runs to avoid smoking weed.

I swear, it's all online if you want to find it, I did mine and I summarized the story for you.

Tony Effe's kitchen

The fact is that in the midst of all this history we now have the food influencer version of Tony Effe, and frankly we would have even spared it.

First, the video of his fridge, as tidy as we'd imagine Hannibal Lecter's (I wish Tony would clean up his house for us), all stocked with high-protein, low-calorie processed foods. Well, not exactly the fridge we like, but then again, we don't fit into size 26 jeans, neither women's nor men's.

And then, after the fridge, comes the video recipe where he prepares “na cosetta fit” together with Ruben Bondì, aka cucina con ruben, in his steel kitchen that is covered in fingerprints and with plates stolen from his wife's cupboard. If it were up to him, he'd eat directly from the table.

Well, please, everything's fine, but young rappers who tell us how to eat and invade the already crowded (and not always intelligent) world of social food—no thanks, too.